Geek Culture

Facespace: What If Facebook And MySpace Merged?

Danielle Evenson — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:06:08 +0000

Facespace is the imaginary merger of Facebook and MySpace. Check out the full image at TheOatmeal.com. Facepsace is fantastic, filled with blingees and has more kittens than you can shake a stick at.

For more social networking the world doesn’t need, check out Tom from MySpace Facebook profile and 7 Ways MySpace Ripped Off Facebook.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who also has more kittens than you can shake a stick at.

‘The Brady Bunch’ List: World’s Greatest Twitter List

Danielle Evenson — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:15:17 +0000

Twitter lists were launched just a few weeks ago, and already people are making a mockery out of the new feature. Check out this “Brady Bunch” list from Listist. The word on the interwebs is that Internet maven and LaLaWag founder Sean Percival made accounts for each of the characters then had them Tweet the to the show’s iconic theme song. It and he are genius.

For other television related time wasters, check out the 10 Greatest Inventions By Stewie On “Family Guy” and 15 TV Characters That Never Came Out Of The Closet (But Should Have).

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who is all alone.

Improv Everywhere Debuts Lunchtime Musical

Danielle Evenson — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:56:08 +0000

Improv Everywhere just posted their new musical “I Love Lunch.” The group swarms an eating and busts into song. Plus, they rope in Ann Curry!

If all of this hasn’t ruined your appetite, check out 20 Gross Feminine Hygiene Products and 20 Cutest Videos Of Babies Trying Gross Food.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who also loves lunch.

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7 First Strips Of Legendary Cartoonists

geoffrey.golden — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:45:25 +0000

It’s tough for a stripper just starting out. As embarrassing as yearbook photos, comic strip creators often make an overlooked first strip that shows the cartoonist’s art and humor in its primordial stage (like these 10 Dinosaur Comics Written By Twitter). Check out the footnote strips that these famous cartoonists wish we’d forgotten about.

7. “Gnorm Gnat” by Jim Davis
Five years before creating the lasagna-inhaling fat cat Garfield, Jim Davis drew a strip about bugs for an Indiana newspaper in the 70s. He couldn’t get it picked up by a syndicate, so Davis killed the main character by having a giant foot crush him. Mike Peters, the creator of Mother Goose and Grimm says, “Gnorm Gnat has gone down in cartoon folklore as a most fortunate failure. Can you imagine a bright orange gnat on every car window? … A big fat gnat saying ‘I hate Tuesdays.’” Yes, I can imagine it in my nightmares. (Image via Garfield Fan Club)

6. “Li’l Folks” by Charles M. Schulz
Perhaps the oddest thing about Li’l Folks, the precursor to “Peanuts” from the late 40s, is how childlike the children are. They talk about mud pies and tricycles – it would take years before Schulz’s kids evolved into philosophical mini-adults. Schultz quit the strip for his hometown paper, “St. Paul Pioneer Press,” after two years, because he wanted more than $10 per strip. Yeah, Schultz was worth just a little more than 10 bucks a strip. (Image via AskArt)

5. “The Academia Waltz” by Berkeley Breathed
Breathed recently created a treasury of “Bloom County” comics, but hesitated to include examples of his first strip, drawn from 1978-79 for his college paper, “The Daily Texan.” In an interview with the “LA Times,” he calls “Academia Waltz” “embarrassing, offensive and juvenile.” Breathed sounds as neurotic about these strips as Opus the Penguin is about his less-than-masculine figure. (Image via GoComics)

4. “Dumb Dora” by Chic Young
Dumb Dora is the first strip created by “Blondie” cartoonist Chic Young, drawn from 1924-30. After reading this strip, I just wanna say the words “Tea Hound” over and over again. Tea Hound, Tea Hound, Tea Hound, Tea Hound, Tea Hound. Tea Hound. Thank you. …Tea Hound. (Image via Wikipedia)

(Full sized comic here)

3. “Nature’s Way” By Gary Larson
Larson began cartooning to try and get out of a job at a retail music store. Unfortunately, his first strip, “Nature’s Way,” netted him three dollars per cartoon when published in “The Sumner News Review” in the late 70s. Not enough to quit his day job. Later, the “San Francisco Chronicle” would syndicate his strip and call it “The Far Side.” On the name change, Larson says, “they could have called it ‘Revenge of the Zucchini People’ for all I cared.”

2. “Bull Tales” by Garry Trudeau
Before he became a famous political cartoonist, Trudeau drew a comic about football for the “Yale Daily News” in the late 60s. When he submitted the strip to the paper’s editor, the editor said, “They’re all right. We publish pretty much anything.” What started as a strip about football quickly transitioned into a satirical comic and two short years later was picked up for syndication as “Doonsbury.” (Image via Slate)

1. “Silly Philly” by Bil Keane
Some would argue that “Family Circus” is an embarrassment within itself (Uh-Oh, I think Jeffy actually DID knock over the vase!), but Keane’s first strip was about the statue of teenage William Penn coming to life and acting silly in Philadelphia. Or Silly in Philly. Or… ugh, you get the idea. Did I mention it ran for 13 years? (Image via Family Circus)

Comedy.com has ravaged your Sunday Funnies. Check out these 10 early strips from Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes. Also, no one parodies Garfield, Blondie and Peanuts better than comic book legend R. Sikoryak.

This article was written by Geoffrey Golden, who has never successfully kicked a football. ARGH!

Strip Show: Assortment of Funny, Geeky Comic Strips

Weezer Makes A Snuggie Commercial

Danielle Evenson — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:46:11 +0000

This video is everywhere! It’s on Buzzfeed, Videogum and three people have emailed it to me. I don’t understand. Why is this funny? People love freakin’ Weezer! Why? Can someone explain to me why this is awesome? Leave me a note in the comments below. I’m so confused.

For other things that confuse me, check out 15 Ladies Who Would Look Better With A Mustache and 15 Weirdest Things About Hitler.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who is on Team Slanket.

Teacher Freaks Out Students With Halloween Math Class

Danielle Evenson — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:12:39 +0000

Just before Halloween, teacher Matthew Weathers tricked his Nature of Math students at Biola University using a variety of audio and visual aids. Check it out. Not only does he travel through space, but he also throws a wicked eraser.

Does this make you nostalgic for school? Check out 20 Ridiculous College Courses and the 12 Best Lessons Hip Hop Taught Us About Life.

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who has already thrown two erasers today.

The Happiness Hat Will Make You Smile, Or It Will Stick A Nail In Your Head

Danielle Evenson — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 22:10:47 +0000

This video by Lauren McCarthy is great. Not only does she don an adorable hat, but it also sticks you in the skull with a metal spike if you’re not smiling. It reminds me of my mother. Now stop slouching and watch this video.

For other things that remind me of my mother, check out out 10 Hottest TV Moms and Their Dirty Little Secrets and the 11 Best Octo-Mom Reality Show Pilots.

Thanks to Chris Singel for the tip!

Posted by Danielle Evenson, who needs a nail to the head.

10 Most Unimpressive Speakers At The TED Conference

Danielle Evenson — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:00:03 +0000

The Technology, Entertainment, and Design conference gathers the smartest, wealthiest, and most influential– oh wait, that’s Nobu. TED is the one with unattractive people (for example 15 Guys You Don’t Want To Pee Next To or these 10 Worst People To Sit Next To On An Airplane). Just like any conference, TED has its share of high-falootin soap box superstars who claim to be world changers, but the only thing these guys have changed in the last year is their profile photos. Here they are in condescending order from lamest to lamer. I give you the 10 Most Unimpressive Speakers At The TED Conference.

10. Beau Lotto And The Lamest Optical Illusions Known to Man
These optical illusions have been passed around by grandmas via email since 1912 and comprised over 85% of hosted content on Geocities homepages (RIP). If you haven’t seen these illusions before you are definitely a n00b.

9. Niels Diffrient And His ‘Freedom Chair’ Which Freed The Slaves In 1863 And Cured AIDS
Just kidding, it’s just a f**king chair! The guy created a chair, and according to the comments on the video, the only thing it frees you from is being comfortable.

8. Aimee Mullins, The Hot Chick With Too Much Money To Spend On Prosthetic Legs
She has 12 wooden legs. Just imagine how many dildos she has. Aimee thinks the reason we are so “accepting” of her is her really cool looking prosthetic legs, which she herself admits that no one notices. Probably because we are all looking at her boobs.

Whoops. Due to size requirements, I had to cut off Aimee’s legs – again.

7. Ian Dunbar On Dog-Friendly Dog Training
This presentation reminded me of that time in history class when instead of a 20-page report, I turned in a puppy. It should be at the TED conference about as much as Aimee Mullins should be modeling pantyhose.

6. Bono Tells Us That Africa Sucks
I didn’t even watch this one. Africa sucks. At the next TED conference, Bono will be talking about lesser known topics such as “China Makes Things” and “Rape Is Bad.”

5. James Balog And His Totally eXtReMe Ice Photos
This isn’t the 90s anymore. You can’t just willy nilly call things “extreme,” especially not fast forwarded videos of glaciers.

4. Stephen Petranek And 10 Ways The World Could End
Screw this guy. That was the title of my next Comedy.com article.

3. Majora Carter Greens The Ghetto
Why does everything have to be green? Majora Carter worked hard to fight what she calls “environmental racism.” By calling black the new green, Majora is working to ensure that even Priuses can sport gold spinner rims. That’s right, the only way to fight environmental racism is with normal racism.

2. Ben Saunders Skis To The North Pole
Oh cool, some guy’s vacation slides. And, it’s all uphill. It would have been easier to go to the South Pole, idiot.

1. Arthur Benjamin The Mathemagician
Arthur is the only guy left in America with enough mathematical ability to notice if I made this list only have nine entries. Arthur’s act is the equivalent of going to a child’s birthday party as the *ssh*le Addition Guy and laughing at five-year-olds who can’t count. So the guy can multiply really fast. So what? Watch this.

As for conferences actually worth attending, be sure to bring a laser pointer to the Robot Cats Gathering 2009 and a frying pan to the Bacon Art Festival.

Posted by Sam and Rex, who love a good conference.

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15 Most Inappropriately Sexy Halloween Costumes (For Kids!)

brendan — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:00:35 +0000

This time of year, lots of women like to dress sexy for Halloween. That’s great. Who doesn’t want to see a slutty version of traditionally male occupation? Bring on the busty firemen and the sexy HVAC specialists. However, I think I speak for most of the universe (except pageant moms) when I say the sexiness line should be drawn with a big marker at children. That sentence doesn’t even make sense, but you know what I mean. We don’t need our kids dressed up like whores. Even whores shouldn’t be dressed up as whores, really, especially in the colder winter months. That’s why it’s important to see these 15 Kids Staring At Boobs. After extensive research that probably put me on an FBI watch list, here are 15 Most Inappropriately Sexy Halloween Costumes (For Kids!)

BONUS LINK: 6 Strangest Objects People Were Caught Having Sex With

15. Cop Child Costume
Hello, little girl. You can dress up like a police officer, but only if you wear a shimmery mini-skirt and heels. Cause that’s exactly how cops dress in real life (real life being strippers at a bachelor party).

From the product description: “Stop! In the name of purple? This cop is ready to shop in this navy blue collared dress with matching shimmery skirt…”

14. Grecian Fairy Child Costume
This costume is so inappropriate for kids, no parent would let their model child wear it for the promotional photo. That’s saying a lot, cause the parents of child models pretty much agree to anything.

From the product description: Available in Child sizes: 7-8, 10-12

13. Bratz Fashion Emergency Bratty Nurse Child Costume
Nursing is a high-stress profession, but I haven’t met any nurses that I would describe as “bratty.”

Besides this costume isn’t a nurse costume, it’s a (slightly) toned down version of the nurse fetish costumes skanky adults wear. The adult version might even have the exact same length skirt. Don’t believe me?

12. Major Flirt
By the standards of some of the other costumes on this list, this one is a little tame. However, there’s the horrible, horrible name.

From the product description: “This classic girls costume comes with military green dress, vinyl studded belt, Major General’s hat and matching glovettes–all you’ll need to get them to stand at A-tten-tion!”
Sir, permission to barf freely.

11. High Seas Hottie
Describing a child as a “Hottie” and dressing them in a pleather mini-skirt and midriff-bearing top should get you on one of those lists where you can’t live near schools anymore.

10. Child’s Chamber Maid Costume
It’s the French maid costume for the little girl that wants to dress up as a domestic servant/common fetish.

From the product description: Makes a great Halloween costume.

9. Preteen Referee Costume
This model has huge boobs, which, unless I’m grossly underestimating the amount of hormones in Lunchables, real preteens don’t have. I don’t mean to sound like the boss of the preteen model’s union, but I demand that in the future, actual preteens model for preteen costumes.

8. Red Hot Devil Woman Pre-Teen Costume
Man, I hope this is just a simple mislabeling, and there aren’t actually going to be any preteens dressed up like this.

7. Hannah Montana Child Costume
Can we make a rule about fishnet stockings? The rule should be that you can’t wear fishnets unless you are a full-grown woman, convincing tranny, or someone trying to catch fish. No kids allowed.

6. Chamber Matrix Pre-Teen Costume
Okay, I could be wrong. Maybe preteens are big, slutty whores.

5. Bratz Cowgirl Costume
This is the worst offender of the Bratz costumes, and that is really saying something. The head designer for the Bratz costume line must be Roman Polanski.

From the product description
Small Size (4-6) fits most kids Age 3-4 years
Medium (8-10) fits most kids age 5-7 years
Large (12-14) fits most kids age 8-10 years

4. Kids Mac Daddy Pimp Costume
Finally, something inappropriate for the boys! For a second there I thought we were living in society that sexualizes girls at a young age, teaching them their only worth is in their appearance. Dodged that society bullet! We also send horrible messages to boys. Equality!

Part of the reason pimping ain’t easy is because it’s illegal and morally reprehensible. Can we somehow include that in the costume accessories?

3. Lolita Teen Costume
It’s a costume called “Lolita Teen Costume.” Maybe it’s for adults, to dress up like a sexy teen? Creepy, but still, you know, legal. Let’s look at the description.

“Teen size only fits dress size 2-6.”

Nope, it’s a costume for teens named after a novel about a tween seductress. Perfect.

2. Preteen Candy Corn Witch Costume
This model is about as preteen as Cloris Leachman. Besides the cosseted top or thigh-high stockings, the worst part (the entire thing is the worst part) is the stripper shoes. If there’s a factory that makes stripper shoes for preteens, can we shut it down somehow? I’ll boycott stripper shoes for preteens.

1. Child Ravager
At this point on the list, we’re pretty used to fishnet stockings, knee-high boots, and buckle-corset things, but this one really stands out because of its name. “Child Ravager” sounds like a phrase a prosecutor would use in a death penalty case.

Really, we have to blame the parents here, because kids don’t work in factories anymore (fix that, Obama) and any sexy costumes ordered from the Internet are ordered by adults. The saddest part is that these are just the skanky tip of the slutty iceberg. Google the Bratz Halloween costumes if you are in the mood for “:(‘s.” Ugh.

If you enjoyed this article, what’s wrong with you? Anyway, check out the 9 Weirdest Videos Of Kids Singing About Making Out With A Random Lesbian or 10 Favorite Failed Children’s Book Titles- Illustrated.

The post was written by Brendan, a high seas hottie.

10 Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt Parodies

geoffrey.golden — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:37:25 +0000

Thanks to an appearance on “The Office,” the Three Wolf Moon meme has gone mainstream and beyond. It’s time to show others that you knew about the joke before it was super popular, and now you’re making fun of the shirt that everyone wears to make fun of it. Or something like that. Grr… my head hurts! Anyway, here are 10 Parodies Of The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt.

10. Wrong
Wolf Moon Fail. (Image via Zazzle)

9. Text Version
In case your browser / shirt cannot display images. (Image via Zazzle)

8. Potentially Infinite
Eventually, Three Wolf Moon shirts will cause the universe to collapse in on itself. (Image via Buzzfeed)

7. Other T-Shirt
Sure it does… (Image via CafePress)

6. Wolf Mooned
Dudes and wolves have something in common: howling at women’s butts. (Image via Buzzfeed)

5. Three Horse Moon
A Three Wolf Moon Parody 4 Kidz. (Image via CafePress)

4. Awesome
I’m too awesome for my shirt. My Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt. So awesome it hurts. (Image via Zazzle)

3. Three Teen Wolf Moon
I hope Michael J. Fox has this in his closet. (Image via 80s Tees)

2. Three Keyboard Cat Moon
Play off the wolves, Keyboard Cats. (Image via Threadless)

1. Three Hippopoticorn Moon
Hippopoticorns are the new Moon Kings! (Image via Clack)

Need more meme merchandise? Check out the 7 Keyboard Cat Shirts You Can’t Fail To Own and snag yourself a Pedobear Stuffed Animal too. (Just keep it away from your kids.)

This post was written by Geoffrey Golden, who’s still waiting on Three Wolf Keith Moon.