Animals are awesome because they are adorable and some are tasty. Getting drunk is awesome also, unless you are reading this and are under 21 in which case getting drunk is totes lame, bro! Twitter!
Anyway, since animals aren’t worried about getting knocked up or calling up ex-girlfriends (or drunk girls), when they drink, it is perfectly fine, no matter how old they are. Here now are the 20 Drunkest Animals On YouTube. After you read it, you’ll need to to read about how to get through life drunk. It’s important.
20. Drunk Piglet
I like to imagine this is a deleted scene from “Charlotte’s Web” where Wilbur joins a fraternity.
19. Drunk Macaques
The next day, one of these guys woke up next to a baboon. An extremely unattractive baboon.
18. Drunk Giant Pig
This one is kind of a cheat, since it is non-alcoholic beer, but still, it’s a giant, terrifying pig drinking beer. It’s cute, but at the same time horrifying, like a baby Velociraptor or Chris Brown.
17. Drunk Horse
This horse is probably not drunk. At most, he’s tipsy, because who is going to pay for a horse to get drunk? They weigh like a thousand pounds (net weight before cooking). Also, you don’t have to watch the whole thing, because the horse isn’t drunk by the end.
16. Drunk Elephants
The next morning was the first time the elephants forgot anything! (So sorry about that joke, but you almost got a clumsy metaphor about Republican governance instead.)
Actual Comment:
I am reminded of the days when my father would come home fully intoxicated, belligerent, and with irrepressible rage. He would force me to do jigsaw puzzles with him, to which if I rejected he would make me rub calamine lotion onto his tuft of hair. I was 18, and this was still in the midst of the Depression. Times were hard, and I was born with a clef pallet which only further alienated me. Of course, I outgrew this around 19.
Nice elephant video dude.
15. Drunk Baby Gorilla
I guess there’s something slightly intoxicating about bamboo, which is probably why pandas never volunteer to drive.
14. Drunk Bunny
You’re getting empty Coors cans in your Easter basket this year.
13. Drunk Dog
This dog is on anesthesia, so it’s really more “drugged” then “wasted.” Either way, Bob Marley seems like very appropriate music.
12. Drunk Goat
In my mind, goats drinking “cerveza” while mariachi music plays in the background is what all of Mexico is like all the time. I want to visit so badly.
11. Drunk Bird
Supposedly this bird has been eating fermented cherries, but just as easily could have suffered from a stroke.
10. Drunk Possum
This possum is so drunk he can’t even find his way to the highway to get hit by a truck.
9. Drunk Chicken
The people filming this video are like a Jeff Foxworthy joke come to life, but that chicken is probably delicious.
8. Drunk Cat
This cat “just got back from the vet,” which is the excuse I’m going to use when I skip my next AA meeting.
7. Drunk Bird (Russian)
Way to defy cultural stereotypes, Russian bird.
6. Drunk Kitty
This combines every girl’s two favorite things: kitties and heavy sedatives.
5. Drunk Bear
This bear gets wasted and heads down the local elementary school without any pants and everyone thinks it’s adorable. You try doing that and see if people still think it is cute.
4. Drunk Vervet Monkeys
Watching this video is pretty much the most delightful way to learn about the science of alcoholism.
3. Drunk Squirrel
This is one of the most popular of the drunken animal videos, and with good cause. I mean, look at how drunk that squirrel is. Super drunk!
2. Drunk Goat (Again)
First you’d be all like “OMG you ruined my party by bringing a goat,” and then it would be this goat and you’d be like “Awesome!”
1. Drunk All Animals
This is like that scene in “The Lion King” where all the animals gather for the birth of Simba, only instead of gathering to celebrate the birth of a vicious predator that lives to hunt them, these animals are gathering to get wasted on some fermented fruit. It makes more sense, yet Elton John refuses to write a song about it.
If you liked this post, you might like The 11 Funniest Pictures of Animals Photoshopped Together, The 10 Ugliest Animal Babies On YouTube or getting drunk and dressing up like a mascot.
This post was written by Brendan, who encourages your pets to drink responsibly.
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