Science fiction shows us a world of tomorrow, and what heights of achievement mankind may one day reach. But today, we’re broke as sh*t, and science fiction characters have even more bills than the average fan. (It’s expensive to service any of these 10 Coolest Cartoon Cars). Blinking lights, hyperspace rocket fuel and time traveling phone booths don’t come cheap, fanboy. Here now are the 15 Biggest Sci-Fi Sellouts, and don’t you dare frakking judge them. It could be worse, they could be recording any of these 13 Worst Song Covers.
15. Spider-Man For Baygon Bug Spray
After defeating cyborg doctors, alien symbiots and genetically altered madmen, you’d think Spider-Man would be safe, but no. It was either this or getting squished by a rolled up newspaper.
14. Claire Bennet For Milk
You know what’s great about this ad? Everything.
13. Optimus Prime For Chinese Strip Mall
You don’t have to have a giant computer for a brain to know that cars aren’t made in America anymore. Let’s face it, what’s better for the Autobots? Help us or help the country that holds all our debt? It’s going to be even worse when he goes to Rio to help light the Olympic torch.
12. Dr. Who For Pr1me Computers
Nothing says “Step in to the ’80s” like a guy that can time travel. The only thing more pathetic is the dialogue from the same commercial.
11. Robbie The Robot And The “Lost in Space” Robot For The Sci-Fi Channel
When new robots come out, your design can end up looking dated. What’s a robot to do? The same thing old athletes do, shill for the channel that plays their old highlights.
10. Buck Rogers For Popsicles
Well, at least he wasn’t selling cigarettes like the family in “The Flintstones.”
9. “Star Wars” For Christmas
Sure George Lucas has giant piles of money. But, he just can’t erase this embarrassing chapter from “Star Wars” history. Well, it’s still better than the “Phantom Menace.”
8. Mr. Spock For Buick
“Hello, I’m Spock. Have you ever thought about the logical choice for your car purchase?”
7. The Terminator For The Super Bowl
If he can warn us of that, why not warn us that California is going to go broke?
6. Captain Kirk For The Commodore Vic 20
Wow! You mean I can play “Space Invaders” at home? Where do I put the quarters?
5. Speed Racer For Geico
With all his accidents, isn’t this a little like hiring Bernie Madoff to be the spokesman for TD Waterhouse?
4. Aliens From “Aliens” For Pepsi
After Sigourney Weaver trashes your home planet, you’d be surprise what job you’d take to survive. After this commercial, this poor alien had to take a job checking the I.D. of Roman Polanski’s dates.
3. Doc Brown For Direct TV
The Flux Capacitor may have worked, but it didn’t make Doc Brown nearly as much money as this TV spot.
2. Alien Overlord Wants Levis
When the alien overlords come, remember to take off your pants. That’s why I’m bottomless 24 hours a day.
1. Robbie The Robot for Charmin
Poor Robbie. And, as a final indignity (as if shilling for a paper butt wipe wasn’t enough), they don’t even call him by his real name.
If you remembered any of these ads, then you’re a super nerd. Also, check out the 16 Most Ridiculous Nerd Fights On YouTube and the 20 Pictures Of Nerdy Cupcakes.
Posted by Tony DiGerolamo while squeezing Charmin with no pants.
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