Our guest columnist, the Incredible Hulk, is back again after his two week vacation smashing boulders in the Rocky Mountains. Now he’s back reviewing websites for Comedy.com since movie theaters will no longer sell him a ticket.
Grrr! Hulk get computer! Nephew set up Windows for Hulk. Nephew explain Facebook, but Hulk no understand. Hulk not have computer when he tiny Hulk! Hulk go on Internet! Google Hulk’s own name many times, then Hulk discover website!
Hulk find FARK. Place where all news go. Tiny logos hard for Hulk to click! Break many mouses! Raaaur! Hulk read many things. Mattress left on roadside many days. Silly. Mattress not for road. Mattress for sleeping!
Letterman sleep with employees? But, him so nice! What him thinking? University of Florida have zombie escape plan? Hulk need no escape plan. Hulk smash zombies! Hulk click on site many hour. Forget time. Hulk miss Jon Stewart! Raaur! “Daily Show” only rerun five more time a day! Make Hulk mad like army men! Soldiers shoot at Hulk! Make Hulk angry!
And the madder Hulk gets! The stronger Hulk gets! Raaauurrr!
Hulk’s giant fingers smash puny keyboard. Hulk call nephew to fix. Hulk have no time to click on every link. Hulk have job! Hulk have life!
Oh, who Hulk kidding? Hulk break up with girlfriend. Hulk no keep job. Puny boss lay off Hulk. Hulk lay all day on couch. Watch Comedy Central. How did Hulk’s life come to this? Hulk sad.
Hulk go to strip club. Spend unemployment check on big boobies! Boobies cheer up Hulk!
Check out Hulk’s other reviews of “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and “G.I. Joe.”
Posted by Tony DiGerolamo, who spent his money from this column on a strip club.
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