Emos have lots of problems, but one of the biggest is deciding which cartoons to watch. You can’t just light up a clove cigarette and sit back and enjoy “Muppet Babies.” Being a dark, pretentious outcast takes real work on clothes, hair and attitude. Your cartoons have to reflect that. Here now are the 10 Best Cartoons For Emos. It’s brought to you by Comedy.com’s Animation channel.
10. “The Drak Pack”
“The Drak Pack” was the second generation of monsters (sons of Dracula, Frankenstien and Wolfman) who, led by Dracula, tried to make up for the misdeeds of monsters past. Kind of like what Jeffrey Dahmer’s son being a nursery school teacher would be like or if Ted Bundy’s son was your surgeon.
9. “Ruby Gloom”
When your main character is a little Goth girl that interacts with creepy puppets and dresses like she robbed a Hot Topic, we have to think Emos will almost crack a smile for this (even if there is no smoking). Stop cutting yourself for 10 minutes and watch, you pasty-faced, black-haired, depressed hipsters.
8. “Count Duckula”
Much like real Emos, the vegetarian Duckula is trying to live up to a scary ideal that he can never hope to achieve. Don’t tell these guys about the pentagram in the opening of the show.
7. “Danny Phantom”
Since Danny is “half ghost” he is technically half dead, Emos. Since you’re all dying on the inside, Danny is a natural fit.
6. “Mona the Vampire”
This one will take you back to the days when you dressed as a little vampire and solved mysteries with your friends. And when we say “solved mysteries” we mean “sat around complaining how terrible your life was.” It sucks only because you don’t understand the difference between being depressed and being a passive aggressive d**che.
5. “Beetlejuice”
We all know that Winona Ryder is your hero/tragic romantic love interest. It would be great at first until you went into the CVS and set off the sensors on the way out with pockets full of candy, cold medicine and “People” magazine.
4. “Making Fiends”
You’re gonna love this one, Emos. It’s perfect for you because children die pointlessly, and a creepy little girl makes monsters out of thin air. It’s kind of like living in Los Angeles if it was run by Meghan McCain.
3. “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy”
“Grim Adventures” presents a dark world populated by strange mythical beings and power-hungry children. It’s sort of like the Teen Choice Awards if someone showed up with talent.
2. “Invader Zim”
We don’t have to tell you about this cartoon, because you probably put it on pause to look at this list. You’ll do anything for creator Johannes Vasquez, and you’re still dying for a “Johnny the Homicidal Maniac” cartoon, even though you know it will never happen. Hey, you don’t want too much joy in your life, you might accidentally smile.
1. “The Addams Family”
Much like you, they’re creepy and they’re kooky. Unlike you, they’re interesting and can snap their fingers without looking at their hands. Stop dreaming about John Astin adopting you, it’s not going to happen.
Like this list? Check out our 10 Photos That Give Goths A Bad Name and dance to the song “All The Single Emos.”
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