Who doesn’t love wrestling? The spectacle. The athleticism. The sheer brutality! But to our nerdy ears, the names of some grapplers’ “signature moves” sound pretty ridiculous.
Faster than you can say “body slam,” here are some of our favorite (unintentionally) geeky wrestling moves…
Flatliner – An awesome move in the ring, but also an awesome movie, starring 24’s Keifer Sutherland, featuring dialogue like, “You bring the equipment, I’ll bring my balls.” Aww yeah.
The Razor’s Edge – A kickass slam, as well as an ass-kicking album by AC/DC. With hits like Money Talks and Thunderstruck, the album is way cooler than the wrestling move.
S.T.F. – Among other things, an uber-geeky abbreviation for Starfleet, Study Tagging File, or Software Testing Facility. (Oh, and it means Stepover Toehold Sleeper in the ring.)
Rana – Lots of The Great Khali’s moves have the word Rana in them. He must be a LOTR fan, because that’s the word for “moon” in Tolkien’s middle earth realm.
Nodawa Bomb – “Nodawa” is actually an ancient Samurai throat armor. So, in essence, this move is a “throat armor bomb.”
S.T.O. – One of our favorite power-moves. But oddly, “Sto” is the name of the fictional home planet of Astrid Peth in the television series Doctor Who.
Biel Bump – Sorry, when we hear this one all we can think of is Jessica Biel’s right boob.
Figure Four – You know it as a grappling hold. We know him as a character from a 1990s Japanese manga, who fights cyborgs and looks goofy.
Tree of Woe – This one is probably intentional, but the Tree of Woe is actually a reference to a scene in Conan the Barbarian, when Doom orders our hero to be crucified on a tree. Mad props for whoever named this move.
Haas of Pain – When we hear “Haas,” we think “lasers.” That’s because Haas is a leading maker of laser equipment.
Barely Legal – We’re told this is an arm-hold. Really? C’mon guys, couldn’t you have come up with a slightly less trashy name?
Shiranui – You mean the facelock? Or the obscure jonin from the Naruto cartoon series?
Front Chancery – Isn’t that a font?
El Kabong – This one’s actually an old Hanna Barbera cartoon starring Quick Draw McGraw.
Mushroom Stomp – While a real wrestling move, it could just as easily refer to level one of Super Mario Bros.
Blue Thunder Driver – Best. Helicopter. Movie. Ever. Period.
Comments